If you are an educator, provider, friend, parent, citizen, activist, survivor, listener, reader, collaborator, human: you may very well be in pain right now. You may be in fear or grief, despair or confusion, overwhelm or numbness. You may be lonely, disappointed, or enraged. You may be feeling all of these things, all at once, or you may not know what you're feeling...or what to say (or not say). The need for therapeutic belonging and support has become increasingly critical since the pandemic, and this moment of global grief and trauma reminds us again of our shared suffering and of our universal need for care and connection.

Many of us and the learners we serve are experiencing trauma right now: acute violence or loss or the transgenerational trauma of genocide, displacement, and erasure. As supporters, we may be feeling vicarious trauma or compassion fatigue. We thought some information on what trauma is and how we can support each other (as humans, not therapists) might be helpful right now.

• Trauma is a psychological and emotional response to a distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope.

• It's important to note that the impact of trauma can vary greatly from person to person, depending on factors such as individual resilience, support systems, and access to mental health resources. Early intervention, therapy, and a supportive environment can play a crucial role in helping individuals and communities cope with the effects of trauma, whether it's the result of personal experiences or global events.

• We can experience anxiety, depression, physical health issues, and difficulty concentrating in the wake of traumatic stress.

• Trauma can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia, nightmares, and other sleep-related issues. 

• Trauma can strain relationships, as individuals may struggle to communicate or may isolate themselves from loved ones. Feeling outside of a group, or as not belonging, can seriously exacerbate other mental health issues and symptoms.

You don't have to be a therapist to support folks you care about right now. Some tips:

Practice Active Listening:

When discussing divisive topics, make a conscious effort to listen actively. This means giving your full attention to the speaker, without interrupting or formulating your response while they're speaking.

Show empathy and understanding, even if you disagree with the other person's perspective.

Respect Differences:

Understand that people have different opinions and values, and it's okay to disagree. Respect these differences and avoid making personal attacks or assumptions about the other person's character.

Keep in mind that respectful disagreement can lead to productive conversations and a better understanding of different viewpoints.

Set Boundaries:

If a conversation becomes too heated or emotionally charged, it's okay to set boundaries and take a break. Let the other person know that you need some time to cool off and reflect.

Returning to the conversation with a clear head can lead to more constructive dialogue.

Choose the Right Time and Place:

Be mindful of when and where you engage in political discussions. Avoid bringing up divisive topics during family gatherings or social events where tensions may run high.

Choose settings that are conducive to open and respectful dialogue.

Use "I" Statements:

Express your own feelings and perspectives using "I" statements. For example, say, "I feel concerned about this issue because..." rather than making accusatory statements.

This approach can reduce defensiveness and create a more open atmosphere for conversation.

Stay Informed:

Make an effort to stay informed about current events and political issues from diverse sources. This can help you engage in more informed and nuanced discussions.

Avoid relying solely on one news source to avoid falling into echo chambers.

Focus on Shared Values:

Seek common ground or shared values that can serve as a foundation for constructive conversation. Highlighting shared concerns can create a more positive atmosphere for discussion.

Emphasize the importance of working together on issues that both parties care about.

Agree to Disagree:

It's okay to agree to disagree. Sometimes, there may be no resolution to a divisive issue, and that's alright. You can acknowledge your differences and move on to other topics or activities.

Share Experiences: 

In group settings where multiple people are experiencing trauma together, sharing experiences can be therapeutic. It helps individuals feel less alone and provides a sense of community.

Encourage Expression: 

Encourage creative and expressive outlets such as writing, art, or group discussions. Expressing emotions through various mediums can be therapeutic.

Respect Different Coping Styles: 

People cope in different ways. Some may want to talk about the trauma, while others may prefer distractions. Respect these differences and avoid imposing a particular coping style on others.

Offer Hope and Positivity: 

Share stories of resilience and recovery. Offer hope and positivity without minimizing or trivializing the trauma. Encouraging a forward-looking perspective can be empowering.

Participate in Group Activities: 

Engage in group activities or rituals that promote healing and unity. This can include memorial services, support groups, or community events.

Long-Term Support: 

Understand that the effects of trauma can be long-lasting. Be prepared to offer support over an extended period, as people may continue to grapple with the emotional aftermath.

Providing support for others across trauma can lead to feelings of burnout (therapists may call this vicarious trauma or compassion fatigue). It is critical we care for ourselves, too.

• Limit Exposure to Stressors: If the constant barrage of divisive news and discussions is causing you significant stress, consider limiting your exposure to these stressors. This might involve taking breaks from social media or reducing your consumption of news.

• Seek Support and Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities that help you manage stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if you find that the stress from politically fraught events is affecting your mental health.

Remember that support during a traumatic experience is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Different people will have different needs, and it's essential to be sensitive to those individual needs. Be patient, compassionate, and flexible in your approach, and encourage professional help when necessary.